What I would like to think of as new beginnings...

You know all those commercials you see for the "if you've ever taken -insert drug name- and experience(d) -insert bad/deadly side effect- then call this number now!"? That has ALWAYS been a big fear for me. Being put on a drug that later down in life has an even worse effect, I mean. And now Im at a crossroads in life. I have to decide whether or not to go on a medicine that could cause potentially very harmful, even deadly, side effects. I dont know what to do!

Let me back up a little bit. I have posted before about having psoriasis. I know that it flares in the summer time. Well, its coming into that time of year and I've never felt worse. This is a real disease, people. One I cant help or control. Its not about bad hygiene or not taking care of yourself. Perfectly healthy people get it too. Did you know that up to 7.5 million people in the US have psoriasis? Yeah, I bet you didnt. But anyways... A few days ago I decided enough is enough. All the other stuff my doctor and I had tried didnt work. So, I went and saw a dermatologist. She has informed me that I have psoriatic arthritis (a form of arthritis, hence the name) and suggested I go on a biologic medicine called Humira. This will be by pen injection. Scary sounding, huh? Thats not even the scary part! This medicine has these side effects listed:


HUMIRA can cause serious side effects, including:

• Serious infections. These include TB and infections caused by viruses, fungi, or bacteria. Symptoms related to TB include a cough, low-grade fever, weight loss, or loss of body fat and muscle.
• Hepatitis B infection in carriers of the virus. Symptoms include muscle aches, feeling very tired, dark urine, skin or eyes that look yellow, little or no appetite, vomiting, clay-colored bowel movements, fever, chills, stomach discomfort, and skin rash.
• Allergic reactions. Symptoms of a serious allergic reaction include hives, trouble breathing, and swelling of your face, eyes, lips, or mouth.
• Nervous system problems. Signs and symptoms include numbness or tingling, problems with your vision, weakness in your arms or legs, and dizziness.
• Blood problems. Symptoms include a fever that does not go away, bruising or bleeding very easily, or looking very pale.
• Heart failure (new or worsening). Symptoms include shortness of breath, swelling of your ankles or feet, and sudden weight gain.
• Immune reactions including a lupus-like syndrome. Symptoms include chest discomfort or pain that does not go away, shortness of breath, joint pain, or rash on your cheeks or arms that gets worse in the sun.
• Liver problems. Symptoms include feeling very tired, skin or eyes that look yellow, poor appetite or vomiting, and pain on the right side of your stomach (abdomen).
• Psoriasis (new or worsening). Symptoms include red scaly patches or raised bumps that are filled with pus.

So there you have it. Im petrified of making the wrong decision, whichever way I go. My dermatologist seemed very knowledgeable about the medicine and answered any questions we (Aaron was with me) had. The medicine has been approved by the FDA since 2002 and has been used for psoriasis/psoriatic arthritis since 2005. Plus, there are only two other biologic medicines like Humira out, and they ALL run the same risk of side effects. So I guess it doesnt really matter which one I pick, eh? I dont know, I guess its just such a huge decision that its stressing me out. Oh, I forgot to mention that pre-insurance the monthly supply sits around $3000. Thankfully we have BCBS and it will only be $5 a month for me. I would take it twice a month. But thats all I have for tonight... guess I'll post closer to the receive date (this coming wednesday, btw) and tell whether I decided to go on it. Thanks for reading!

My opinion on welfare... and other things.

Before I start, I do not care who this pisses off. It is MY opinion and I am entitled to it (thanks to people like my husband, family members, best friend's hubby, etc -- I.E. military)

Ok, so as many of you know, I got back into the convenience store line of work. My stores accept food stamps, and there are a LOT of people in Enid on food stamps. I have no problem with people being on food stamps in general, and I realize there's an exception to every rule. What I do have a problem is when you buy junk food (candy or chips for example) for you and/or your kids and then turn right around in a separate transaction and buy cigarettes or alcohol. I literally had a guy tell me the other night "I cant believe the government wont supply my nicotine or alcohol"... yes, he was drunk, but really dude?! REALLY?! I flat out told him that "I dont pay taxes to support your bad habits". Our receipts show how much each person has left on their access cards, and you wont believe how many are almost out of food stamps money only half way into the month. Some of these people just straight up amaze me.. and not in the good way. Somehow my husband and I manage to eat every day and we too live paycheck to paycheck. Im talking going to the grocery store, stocking up on real food for two weeks kind of eating. Its very tight, but we do it with no help from the government. So I think if you can afford your daily beer or pack of cigarettes, then you can afford to lose some of your government supplement. Again, this is all entirely personal opinion and I know that its like being in the military.. the good guys get a bad rep. I know there are people out there that honestly need the help and I hate that the people who abuse the system give you a bad rep.


Another thing that set me off tonight is that a certain store manager (no, I wont name who) came thru my store tonight... having been drinking AND was driving. This pisses me off beyond any words. You're supposed to set an example for your employees. You're supposed to be a fucking role model. If I had been back home at my old store, I'd have called the cops on your ass without any hesitation. But circumstances in my life now prevented me from doing so. You're one lucky bitch, thats all I gotta say. The consequences would have been too great to do it, no matter how much satisfaction I would get out of you being held responsible for your POOR actions. You of all people should know better. I may not like you as a person, but I respected you. I thought you deserved what you had in life, but I was wrong and you disgust me. You could have killed yourself, or even someone else! Ugh. Im just so mad because people like this are in management. It goes back to the YOU'RE A FUCKING LEADER, SO ACT LIKE ONE.


Thus concludes my rant for the evening. If you made it until the end, I thank you for taking your time to read.